Ghosts perpetrate us from deep within,
The vision so clearly embellished by the lies we convince even ourselves,
And you ask why your words taste like burned plastic,
Rubbing against the back of my throat,
Burning incessently until the taste you once left,
Is all but burned away,
Deep in a casket with the lies you fed my soul.
FAREWELL
You’re gone and I don’t care.
The weight I could not bare.
For space it pushed us apart.
For space can not stand this heart.
Ten Things My Therapist Taught Me
- Trust your therapist.
- Don’t make puzzle pieces fit.
- Put your own needs first.
- Your past does shape you.
- Don’t put yourself down.
- Talk up the good.
- Don’t down play the bad.
- Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!
- Pay attention to red flags.
- Love yourself.
FIVE AM
It’s 5:00 in the morning,
I open my eyes and my first thought is you.
I wonder what you’re doing.
If you still have trouble sleeping.
If the last thing on your mind at the end of the day is really what you say it is.
It’s 5:00 in the morning,
Are you thinking of me,
Like I’m thinking of you?
It’s 5:00 in the morning,
And I will never know.
BLASPHEMY
This feeling that everything was built on lies will not subside,
Cut off my communication, persuasion, translation,
It’s a game you win inevitably now,
Though in due time, I will realize,
I am the winner,
For I won on my own terms.
SOUL
Somebody asked to see my soul,
Eyes ablaze, I paused.
How does one measure their insides?
What defines my soul?
Do you want to know what keeps me up at night?
What makes me burn with passion?
How many times my heart has been broken,
And who has broken it the worst?
My thoughts keep me up at night,
Even when I see the light,
At the end of the tunnel.
I think past it until the light is blinding my eyes, so bright,
I could swear I left my blinds open, but it appears to me,
They are shut.
And what fills me with passion, I cannot describe,
It’s a feeling, an emotion, something that never subsides,
A lifelong goal to make a mark in this world,
Just on some days, I reach a little further, dig deep into that spark,
And whatever ignites, I embrace,
For how can you measure ones passion?
And how can you measure ones grace?
My heart has been broken, time and time again,
By the homeless on the street,
The animals with nothing to eat,
The love that I wanted to last,
The love that came and went, too fast.
The girls that broke my heart the most,
I swear I broke theirs too,
“Two wrongs don’t make a right,” my mom said,
Yet somehow I felt it could.
Much like time, pain passes too,
Until someone else comes around,
And sticks their nails in you.
You ask who broke me the most,
But I have no answer,
You see, pain it heals,
It does, though first,
Heartbreak you must feel.
Is that good enough for you?
And how do you measure enough?
Is it a time, a quantity, a limit, does it exist?
What thoughts you ask?
If I tell you, will that satisfy you amidst everything I still hold back?
What answers would give you enough clarity,
Into the inside of my being?
A life goes by, a world, oh my,
People we encounter we will never know,
So when you asked into my soul,
I’m sorry for laughing in your face.
PARTING
Cold and rigid, a side I never knew.
True colors unraveled each encounter had with you.
Love destroyed by stomping feet on hearts,
Two fragile bodies and two tangled parts.
tattsandcats 